Gig Review : Jean Claude Vannier.

Jean Claude Vannier : L’Enfant Assassins Des Mouches and Histoire de Melody Nelson – Barbican 21/10/2006.

What? First and probably only ever live rendition of two classic soundtrack albums made by JCV and Serge Gainsbourg in the early 1970s. Featuring full orchestra, choir, band, a child string quartet, special guest stars, and a boy on stage. Conducted by JCV.

1. Coolness of crowd: 7/10 – remarkably high. I could easily have worn the Agnes B Hat in this company, but I couldn’t risk it in the rain.

2. Bob quotient: 8/10 – particularly fine slinky shiny black bob next door but one to me.

3. Annoyment factor: 8/10 – the chap next to me (not Oli) was doing a head bop thing in an annoying way, and also seemed to be in some sort of a relationship with the girl with the slinky bob. Minor rustling behind me which stopped when the concert began.

4. Sound quality: 9/10 – lush and creamy.

5. Comfort: 8/10 - nice seats, perhaps a tad too springy. Because the stage was extended forward and we were in the front row, I was looking up a lot which led to slight neck stiffening.

6. Sexytime: 8/10 - it was very French.

7. Percussion / sound effect function: 10/10 - this is what I’m talkin’ about. Bravo Michel Musseau. Instruments included electric whisk on hung sauté pans, sewing machine, coffee grinder, slamming door, and Monsieur Musseau marching in a box filled with gravel. All performed with a stern, uniquely French face, even when he nearly fell over during the marching part. Other sound effects performed by the rest of the orchestra included the chorus spraying aerosols, the whole orchestra waving white handkerchiefs, and a young boy lighting giant matches, tearing up pieces of paper, and shutting a giant pair of silver scissors.

Overall: 58/70 - a triumph.

Optional categories:

8. Merchandise: signed posters and a choice of two t shirts. Also a free booklet with lots of useful stuff, including lyrics in English and French. Not bad given this was a one off event. Picked up a T shirt bearing the imprint “l’enfant assassins des mouches” (literally ‘the child killers of the moustache’). Should confuse them on the promenade in Eilat.

9. Gruff Rhys factor: He was there. Singing in Breton. Other notables included a gloriously fucked Brigitte Fontaine, Jarvis “son of Joe” Cocker, Badly Sung Boy, Mick Harvey out of the Bad Seeds and Laetitia Sadier of Sterolab, who I thought looked very dirty (in a good way). The band included Vick Flick who did the original James Bond theme (dang de-dang dang, dang dang dang - dang dedang dang - that one) and Herbie Flowers who played the bass on Walk on the Wild Side.