Mitsuko Uchida - RFH - 2 April 08

I think I’ve just about had it with piano recitals at the Royal Festival Hall – just about all the things I hate about the experience came into sharp focus during this one – the constant, unashamed coughing, the terrible sight lines forcing me to have to keep constantly craning my neck in the hope of getting a brief mono-eyed glimpse of the performer, the “soft” sound, and all for £38 and supposedly one of the premium seats.

The behaviour of some of the audience was astonishing. I watched someone – from the rear I couldn’t tell if they were female, she-male or trans-something-or other – kind of Germaine Greer looking anyway - constantly opening and closing a sketchbook and drawing in it until the bloke next to here finally exploded and grabbed her arm. Next to me a greying couple who’d brought packed lunches played ring-a-ring-a-roses on each others palms. As well as the incessant coughing, enough said the Times reviewer to have justified Uchida walking off, there was the regular patter of programmes falling off laps whilst their owners snoozed.

I tried my best to enjoy the concert but in such circumstances it is hard for me. It comprised a Schubert sonata, some modern pieces by Kurtag interspersed with Bach, and for the second half Schumann Etudes. There were some sublime moments, especially in the encores, the best being Mozart so I gathered from the Pinter Hat wearing buck toothed chap sat in front of me.

But really what’s the point? And I later found it is broadcast next week on Radio 3 anyway, so I think I’ll listen again in the comfort of my own home, sketchbook ever ready.